Dear Commander Flores,
I inspected Las Flores Thursday, July 24, and am reporting that everything is satisfactory at the base. Furthermore, I assure you I had nothing to do with that oil spill, as there have been recent reports of a small group of rogue squirrels playing in traffic and causing accidents. Could be an immigration protest…who knows. I spent much of the day training four of our finest alpha squirrels how to drive hover crafts. They are now fully capable of infiltrating the Swift Intruders and will certainly surprise the public at the next Miramar Air Show. Regular inspections commenced, such as: telephone wire walking, nut cracking, and general squirrel hygiene. There is one subject that needs addressing however. There has been a suspicious man frequenting the camp dressed as the planters peanut guy and carrying a large amount of nuts. Intelligence tells me the he has been attempting to breed some of our squirrels with his Labrador in order to create a superior species know as a Squirrel-a-dor, capable of swimming and chasing birds, but also walking on telephone poles and water skiing. This issue must be addressed immediately. Lastly, I finished the day with the usual patriotic pep talk followed by a collective singing of Born in the USA. I will be contacting you soon in regards to what has been conspiring with the power plant, good thing those don’t look like giant nuts.
General Pulgas aka the Chico Farms Bandit
By: General Pulgas aka The Chico Farms Bandit on July 25, 2008 at 3:26 pm